The last word on the final round of the VPCIII from our resident critic.
Wow, I feel like I’ve been doing these reviews forever, I mean, I’ve done at least a few every VPC since the first one but this is the first time I’ve ever done one for every round of a VPC. Who knows, maybe I’ll keep up this tradition for the next VPC. I actually had some fun doing these despite everything else. It’s been a journey but I’m glad I stuck around for this round because if nothing else, it’s been a show with some legitimately great music coming from some unexpected places, for me at least. Without much more fuss, here is my VPC round 5 review!
Poverty Man and Fatback Supreme – Supreme Collabos (feat. JDot and D.Bane)
I liked the production here a bit although, I felt it was a little heavyhanded and sometimes overpowered the verses. In terms of the verses, I caught most of D.Bane who’s verse about not wanting to do a guest verse I didn’t find all that great. And I think I’m just a little bored of that concept. JDot’s verse was pretty standard braggadocio stuff and it wasn’t bad for what it was. And Poverty Man did his Poverty Man thing and was pretty great, making a fairly entertaining verse about assembling this army, that I was enjoying. There didn’t really seem to be a consistent theme to this besides “we’re all rapping together, look at us rapping together” which is fine but it’s not my favorite style of song and the beat gets pretty loud at times and is a bit distracting. Overall, I didn’t think it was a bad show but it wasn’t amazing either. I’ll give it a 7 out of 10.
Navi and Whoremoans – Not A Good Excuse ( feat. Trill Will Sodder, First Mate Kate, FLOPJAQUES)
I liked the concept of this one quite a bit. The first verse had kind of a Cage feel to it in it’s flow except it was to display being sick whereas Cage usually employs that flow to show substances. The beat was decent and downplayed and I could make out everything that was going on in the song. Overall the situations presented were pretty entertaining but I thought Navi and Moans could have done more with it. I thought the first situation was a little more entertaining than the second, or fit the theme better or something. However, I liked the accusatory chorus a lot and how they worked the I think those were samples, but they might have gotten people to record the skit parts but either way how they worked the talking over the beat was nice. Overall I think a 7 out of 10.
Tribe One and Bill Beats – King of the Court (feat. Ardamus)
This beat is nice as fuck, and of course Bill Beats showed off some fine scratching on it. This track has very moving forward, hanging out feeling to it. Like you can pretty much just put this song up in your car stereo and just cruise down an empty street listening to it. I mean… if I had a car or a license. Still, it has that kind of vibe to it. I really enjoyed that line about two white dudes fighting, it made me smile a bit. But this song is mostly just relaxing. I don’t think I have any direct complaints about it, but it’s not one of my favorite songs of the round and I’m not 100% certain about why. It’s still a good show and deserves at least an 8 out of 10 from me.
Shreadtak and Alenka – Sidestep (feat. Hodor)
Oh, is Hodor the actual name of a rapper? I just assumed you sampled Hodor from Game of Thrones but alright. I actually like this team quite a bit. It’s not like they were one of my picks for the winner of this thing, but I have enjoyed listening to them. I think that the producer here makes entertaining beats. I don’t know much about the complexity of them or anything but I think they sound nice and the rapper here, I’m not saying that I think that he’s the best rapper in the competition or anything, but I definitely here some potential in there. His rapping is unpolished, sure, but I thing with some time and practice writing mostly, because some of the lines here feel pretty uninspired, he’ll be pretty good. Maybe I just miss this sound because it sounds how most nerdcore stuff sounded 3 or 4 years ago and if it had been brought too me at that time I probably would have gone “not more stuff like this” but it’s been awhile and I think I have a bit of a nostalgia for it. The message here is pretty cliché, but not awful. Ultimately I think I give this a 7 out of 10.
Team Otaku Supreme – Tha Promise (feat. The Epitome and Twill Distilled)
Oh, Team Otaku Supreme, I’ve given you high scores and REALLY low scores throughout this. And you know what, I liked this song. I’m probably even going to keep it after the competition. The beat is pretty great. I don’t why but this song invokes feelings of Disney inside of me, so… yeah. The verses aren’t bad either. I don’t think they were amazing, but they weren’t bad and the song felt very… feel goody, which isn’t my favorite but it was okay execution. The hook was a bit wonky though, not in the singing, which I felt fit the theme well but there was something weird in the sound quality. I don’t know whether that was a mixing issue or a recording issue, but it did throw me off a bit. Ultimately, I give this song another fucking 7 out of 10. I know, these are a lot of 7’s right off, but that’s about to end.
Team Krunktaku – Three Headed Monster (Run Away) (feat A2Z)
Here we are, at Team Krunktaku again. First of all, I mentioned this in the group, but I’m not sure I fully got across how excited I got when I heard the Godzilla theme and how disappointed I was when that wasn’t the basis for the beat. So, this song started me out in disappointment… but god damn is the rapping here fucking solid. Team Krunktaku is the Three Headed Beast here to wreck the competition. I got it. And, you did it. I was worried that the beat would not be aggressive enough for this song and I would end up hating it and getting people mad at me by giving Team Krunktaku a low score… and in all fairness, I still think the beat is the weakest part of the song. However, the rapping kills so hard that I can ignore everything else. It was a great metaphor for the team here and you’re getting a well deserved 9 out of 10. I almost want to tell you to stay home next year because it’s not fair, but I also kind of want more music as good as this for my collection.
Space Masters – TheBisley (feat. V_Hazy)
*Sigh* I didn’t like it. In fact I kind of like it less every time I listen to it. I just want to skip by this beat real quick, it’s not the type of beat that I enjoy at all so we’ll just leave it at that. Actually, I do want to mention that weird whining noise in the beat during the hook, and say that that in particular I didn’t like. The beat also happened to pretty unintrusive allowing me fully listen to the lyrics of this song. Which, I need to talk about. Nothing here was clever, and the flows were awkward. Actually, I say that flows were awkward too much, I think I can be more descriptive of what I mean in this case. The flows were so confident, but with such confidence they delivered absolutely nothing. “It’s long beach on the map, where we do some drugs and bust a cap” can be submitted to lines that I don’t believe for a second. And they did that thing where they say “I’m sure you’ve heard about us” when I’m pretty sure that nobody has. And this song delivers a line that might be the dumbest I’ve heard in this competition. “Kamakazi lyricist, we’re dropping bombs like Pearl Harbor. You get it now or you got a mental disorder.” Which wasn’t even really attempting a slant rhyme, like the rapper didn’t say harbor or disorder in a distorted way to make them rhyme, they just didn’t rhyme. Second of all, “mental disorder” is such a range of unrelated things. Anyway, probably just my depression and anxiety disorders not allowing me to get this song but I give it a 1 out of 10. I DO like Spaced tho.
Shubzilla and Lex Lingo – Born to Run (feat. Prowess the Testament and Sammus)
I’ve listened to this song so many times. First let me talk about the hook to this song which was obviously the first thing I noticed in this song, which I can just get lost in. I honestly don’t know who sings it but Lex’s under vocals compliment their voice perfectly in this. The beat is downplayed and just almost puts me in a trance. I like it so much. It’s not overly complex and it just sounds great. And god all the MC’s on this track do great. I don’t know what the full planning for this track was but I can only assume it was “Let’s get some of the most badass women rappers in the scene up on this fucking great beat.” There is no verse that obviously shines WAY above the others or any verse that lags back. It’s all solid. Gun to my head I’d say Shubz delivered my favorite verse but everyone brought it. I mean, I’ve listened to this song more that I have too, I listened to this song multiple times on the bus on the way to school today, I’m going to listen to this song after this competition is over. I sing along with the chorus almost automatically at this point. This song is an easy 10 out of 10.
Rhyme and Reason – Grown Up To No Good (feat. Matt Mahaffey, Billy the Fridge, and Packy Lundholm)
This song followed up Shubzilla and Lex’s song in my listening of this round which can be a scary thing seeing as I’ve given Shubz and Lex mostly high reviews, I think at lowest I gave them a 7 once whereas I’ve been pretty mixed on Klop and 3P giving them both high and low scores and not really making a big deal out of any of their songs since round 1. However, if there is one song I’m going to remember from Klop and 3P in this competition, it’s this one. This is my favorite song of the round, and I know me saying that before took some of the tension out of the lead up in this review but I was just so excited to have a song by this team that I absolutely, unequivocally love. This song is fun, funny, and it teaches some good lessons. “Everything is fucked up but you can just get fucked up” is that shit I can get behind. I wish I had Billy the Fridge as a substitute teacher in school. Honestly, all the verses were entertaining and solid. I think my favorite was the one that started “Yeah, alright everything sucks but it’s kind of okay…” I don’t know who did what verse but I loved that one and I thought “Everything worth doings worth doing at least twice and that means vice. Don’t miss what the world has to offer, pay well for your drugs and match your liquor with water.” Was actually all pretty solid advice. This song is another pretty easy 10 out of 10.
Oh! Positive – Midnight Rap Battle In Space (feat. Kool Omega)
I don’t know who this is? Is this a new team or have they been here the whole time? It’s pretty funny that that Kool Omega guy had the line “ya’ll know the name” in this song because I REALLY don’t. And honestly, my opinions on this song are that it wasn’t very good. The weird alien voice effect, and the voices at the rapping in the second verse could have been alright in a better song, with better mixing, and a better set up. But the first verse is really hard to sit through and it’s broken up by a really obnoxious robotic alien voice thing. I give this a 1 out of 10.
Marco Yolo – Nameless (feat. White Meat, Lavos, and DoobieHayve)
I agree with the general spirit of this song. And I thought the line “It’s not cease and desist, it’s resist and deceased” was actually pretty fucking clever. However, the song still suffers from it’s delivery. It didn’t really pump me up with the possible exception of the sample from NWA which just reminded me that I could be listening to their superior “Fuck the police” song. I can’t really recommend this song fully as such but I’m all down for a “fuck the police” song in general, plus I think Lavos had a good delivery on his verse so I’ll go 6 out of 10 on this song.
Johnny Hacknslash and Broken Satelite – No Friends (feat. DJ DN3, Professor Shyguy, Stephanie, and friends)
I feel deceived by this song’s features list. Alright, the beat here is pretty great and fits the song concept well, I don’t MUCH care for the song concept to be fair, but I do think the execution is there to a certain degree. I did kind of enjoy the “Informer” parody thing you snuck in there. It was just real quick and before I even realized you were doing a parody of Informer it was done which is the way to do that. I think the sample of Professor Shyguy denying your request could have been worked into the song and been made to sound better. The concept of the song is kind of “meh” for me but with that being said I did enjoy the characters you did at the end of the song. I’ll give this song a 7 out of 10.
Illuminerdy – Slow Walkers 2 (feat. Yugen)
Well, this automatically caught my attention immediately seeing as to date, “Slow Walkers” is my favorite song that this team has ever produced. Let’s first talk about the production on this song, which I’ll be honest, is the best part of the song. I love the “walk” sample incorporated into the beat and it all comes together really well. Jollimus made me sigh twice in quick succession. He had to include an ass line again, which tbh is a joke I’m getting tired of, but I guess it’s a staple, and the use of “cripples” bothered me but I don’t know if I have any real ground to stand on with that besides a slight discomfort. Yugen was okay, not amazing but he didn’t overstay his welcome or do too bad. This song was not nearly as funny as the original Slow Walkers song but it wasn’t a horrible sequel to it. I will give it a 6 out of 10.
Kordlyss and Mozart von Robot – Die Dihydrogenmonoxide Die
I agree with the message of this song. It’s about fucking time that someone take water down a peg. The first time I saw this title I just thought it was in German, I did not realize that that was just the chemical name for water. The beat of this song sounds way more dire than it needs too but I find that kind of funny and most of the things in this song are really dumb when you stop for a second and think about them, but that doesn’t stop them from entertaining me and this song made me chuckle more than once, and I appreceiate that this song sticks to it’s… incredibly dumb premise. I dig this a lot, I think it’s entertaining and I give it an 8 out of 10.
An Hobbes and 2-Ton 21 – Hourglass (feat. Robin Samples, Adam Selene, CM aka Creative, and Felix Fast4ward)
I’ll admit, I didn’t recognize any of the names on this song so I was a bit apprehensive about it. This song has a hook that just carries me away. I’ll be honest here, this is not what I expected from An Hobbes after “Don’t Fear the Cock.” I love the beat, especially the guitar in it which is really nice. The verses are all really good, everyone stays consistent and nobody completely overshadows or lags behind at all and all come together the song sound great. I’m very very impressed with An Hobbes, 2-Ton 21, and everyone involved in this. This team have been a bit above average this entire competition, but I think really pulled it through in this last round making a really good song that I can listen to again and again. This gets a 10 out of 10.
GODCOMPLEX – hashtag nerdcore (feat. MC Router and The Czarina)
Starting with moaning like White Zombie, super intrusive beat, MC Router. This song wasn’t for me and you know that. While this beat completely overshadows Rafe and makes it impossible to focus on anything he has to say besides “Found YOU Ms. New Booty” which was an odd reference I think not being able to focus on lyrics works in favor of MC Router because this is the best I’ve ever heard one of her songs sounding. This is a party song, and it works as a party song, but as a party song, you kind of already know going in that I’m not going to like it right? So my 5 out of 10 shouldn’t come as a huge shock.
Go to Bread – GENERIC HORRORCORE SONG
I actually think Dynamo Dash’s voice suits horrorcore well. Rukyss’ voice… not so much. Can we transcend the need for songs that parody a genre with a “this is the part of the song where…” part in them, that hasn’t been a clever satire of anything in some time. I honestly think this works better as a straight up generic horrorcore song than any sort of real criticism or satire of horrorcore which it seems like it desperately trying to be. There are some moments in the song that seem like good opportunities for some self-parody that the song never really capitalizes on. Aside from that the beat is fine, standard horrorcore fair and I think it’s ultimately a 5 out of 10.
Delerat and DJ Skull Kid – Full Indie (feat. Jaymee Mak and Jacob Burgess)
Look, I’ve been saying this entire competition that I was hoping for this team to show more emotion in there rapping and I feel like they did it here. It’s kind of a weird song though. I don’t mean that “yeah, we’re nerds, in this together being excepted!” songs are weird, those are so common that they almost anger me now. What I mean is, I have no idea what “Full Indie” is but this song feels like it’s advertising it to me. Maybe it’s just a placeholder for the indie scene or like conventions… but it feels like it’s it’s own thing and I have no idea what that is. That aside, besides sounding like kind of a commercial, I think the execution is here. The vocal performance feels more passionate, the beat is nice and bouncy and it all kind of works. I’ll go 7 out of 10 on this one.
Death Star – Raise high the standards
This was a Death Star song. 8 out of 10. (I liked the line “If they’re calling your nerdcore, at least they’re calling you something”)
Cool is Forever Now – All Together (feat. Stevie Kincade)
I enjoy the beat here quite a bit, and while Justin can be a bit hard to understand a little bit (sometimes when there are vocals overlaying other vocals it’s pretty difficult) I think that he shines pretty hard in this song, more than any other song this competition. He sounds good on this song and Kincade was a good choice for another verse. I really dig this song and I’m glad I got to say that about at least one Cool is Forever Now song this competition. I give this a 9 out of 10.
Beefy and tanner4105 – Don’t Make Me Go (feat. Dr. Awkward)
Damn it. I do love Dr. Awkward so much, dope rapper and leaving him on for the chorus was a great choice. This song really REALLY makes me want to dance. The beat here is fantastic and both rappers on this song ride do well on it. Even though the beat is the main player attraction of this song it doesn’t overshadow either of the two rappers and Dr. Awkwards chorus captures it well and makes the song his own. I give this song a 9 out of 10.
B.A.T. XoMilk – International Theremin Swag (feat. The Ranger, Pops Ghostly, Ham-STAR)
This song, more than maybe anything else, is something I’m interested in discussing. I think that the undisputed (IMO) star of this track is Milk Plus. I am absolutely in love with the beat of this song, and I think that Milk Plus’ hook really seals his place as the crown king of this track. Aside from that XoC killed hard, I love XoC’s flow so much and he did not disappoint me here. Then there’s Pops Ghostly and Ham-STAR. I didn’t think either of them did a BAD job but both of them were completely overshadowed on this song by Milk Plus, XoC, and (for better or worse) The Ranger who I will get to in a second. Pops just didn’t interest me all that much with his verse and Ham-STAR, while not bad, seemed pretty out of place on this song. Now, The Ranger. I’m just going to give my opinion here, I thought his verse was in pretty poor taste. He didn’t directly say anything offensive, but he didn’t say anything righteous either. He just made some word-play out of a recent historic racial event like he’s Kanye West. I just think that considering how recent the event was and how unconnected he is to it (being white and, if I’m not mistaken, in Australia) it was a pretty tasteless thing to do, and not even really clever enough to justify it. Like it seemed to just be in there too be shocking, but I guess I’m talking about it so it worked. I think this discussion is more interesting than whatever score I give this song, but for the sake of moving this along I gave the song an 8 out of 10.
Antisoc and Mayor Wentz – Bragmaster (feat. Willy Steelz)
This song is absolutely unlistenable on earbuds, but actually sounds pretty good on my big money headphones. I like the hook, but it is a little jarring coming in which I’m sure could have been fixed a little bit. There are a few awkward “we’re gonna fit too many syllables into this line” moments in the flows but they don’t bother me too much. After being able to sit down and listen to this on a decent set-up I found I enjoyed it quite a bit. Nothing made me laugh out loud but a few lines made me smile or chuckle and the hook sounds pretty James Bond-like ish… I think… I’ve never actually seen a James Bond movie. Either way, I enjoy this and want to go 8 out of 10 on it.
2d6 – Hello (feat. Whatever/whoever they wanted)
*Buries head in hands and either laughs or cries, it’s impossible to tell.* This song is bad and you know that, but holy fuck MC Mom made me laugh so hard I almost started crying the first time I listened to this song. In fact, that plus the kidnapped kid made me laugh so hard that I didn’t completely hate every second of this song. It’s still not a good song, don’t get me wrong on that. After you start just using sound effects as guests that joke starts old and get insufferable and the song is a mess. However for those few moments that almost killed me from laughing I went 3 out of 10.
1-Up and MC Ohm-I – Final Disstination (feat. SkyBlew, Ricky Spanish, Aramis, Jerome Chance, and George Takei)
I’m actually pretty pleased that I’m ending on this song. Well obviously the hook and beat of this song are fucking tops. I don’t even like Super Smash Bros but I appreciated this track a lot. God save me, I do love “we’re going to come out guns blazing and diss all the competition” songs and the Smash Bros thing tied it all together and gave you that wonderful hook that I love singing along with. This song made me laugh and just smile throughout. All the verses hold up and come together but I can’t help it, the last verse which I’m pretty sure is Ohm-I’s verse is lovely. It makes me very happy and I’m last minute changing my score on this song from a 9 to a 10 out of 10.
Written by Stiborge.